If we learned anything from this week's episode "Regrets Only" it would be that if your spouse or significant other asks you to try a wedge salad, just do it. In fact, if they recommend any book, movie or food just read it, watch it and eat it. Otherwise you may end up with a kitchen full of wasted broccoli and a face full of fire fighting foam.
The best part about Phil and Claire's massive fight was that Phil had no idea what was going on. "Happy Valenbirthiversary". Phil is funny because he's so clueless. I actually find myself wondering how he landed Claire in the first place. He always says the wrong thing at the wrong time and can't seem to read the most obvious social ques. Even while re-hashing the events of the night before with Gloria he doesn't see his MANY mistakes; The microscopic message he left on the counter, the lunch date with his ex, the "air bunnies". This is enough to drive any woman mad. Even Gloria threatens death as he goes through the scenarios. Maybe he was just a little distracted by his super awkward, boobs-in-the-face haircut or maybe his cluelessness is really just part of his charm.
Of course we come to realize that this fight isn't really about a wedge salad. For Claire it's about whether or not her opinion matters to Phil. Cue the Phil charm. He uses an old picture of himself to show Claire the ways he's changed for the better since knowing her. I love the way Modern Family handles this "touchy feely" stuff. There's just enough charm to warm your heart but not so much that I'm tasting stomach acid.
I also enjoyed the Mitchell and Cam story in this episode. Poor Mitchell can't seem to keep his head above water. Granted, Cam is a bit high maintenance but that can't be a surprise. Regardless of his faults, Mitchell knew how important this event was to Cam and how he planned to use it as an opportunity to out-host his "arch-nemesis" Andrew. Nothing is funnier than watching Cam compete with one of his uppity frenemies for the spotlight. I could have watched a whole episode of Cam directing Luke around Devil-Wears-Prada-style. What's funny is that you'd think Cam would have asked Manny, the king of cashmere and etiquette, to serve as his assistant for such an important event. I would have loved to watch the two of them chat about chair placement, hors d'oeuvres, and music selection. Thankfully, in the end Mitchell uses a bit of his own charm to save Cam's charity fundraiser. Even if he has to fill the room with family members and college students.
Now, I think we learned one more lesson from this episode. Don't ever buy someone you live with a Karaoke machine. It's just not a good idea. You know what is a good idea? Watching Jay suffer the consequences of his lapse in judgement. Gloria's rendition of "Just Call Me Angel of the Morning" was so wonderfully painful to listen to. I honestly couldn't tell at first if she was singing in English or Spanish.
"Regrets Only" taught us a lot about how to avoid spousal disputes. Listening to your partner is key. Listen to your wife's suggestions and take them to heart. Listen to your partner when he asks you to do something for him. And most importantly listen to your wife's talking voice before you buy her a karaoke machine.
There are a few things that I can't go without mentioning.
*Claire's mall massage. Enough said.
*Phil to Gloria "You can do me." Really, Phil? Really?
*I was impressed with Haley's quick thinking. Too bad she doesn't put her skills to good use!
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